Start by having your napkin on the side. That way it is visible when you need it, rather than catching mistakes in your lap. Having one there in addition to the first is a bonus.
Bring the napkin towards your face.
Examine critically, and unfold to check for chiggers.
Crumple wildly. It'll teach that napkin!
Delicately dab the lips with the crumpled mess.
When that doesn't work, give 'er with the whole thing. Scrubba scrub scrub...
With a calm, cool, collected manner, place the napkin back in its original spot.
Continue drinking your water with a spoon.
The talent of success is nothing more than doing what you can do, well.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow